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Why You Don’t Have to be Happy all the Time to Be a Positive Thinker

Woman standing with umbrella on stormy day overlooking the city river with blog title

There are quite a few misconceptions about positive thinking and one of them is that you have to put on a happy face despite anything that is going on in your life and pretend that everything is okay.

This is toxic positivity and is not something that is advocated by positive thinkers. Positive thinkers have trained their mind to think positivity, not put on a happy face when things go wrong.

I believe the misconception stems from the fact that those who adopt a positive mind-set are generally happier in, and with themselves. But they still have problems to deal with, they still have lessons to learn, they still have bad things happen to them.

When these things rear their ugly head to a positive thinker, they still feel sad, devastated, shocked, upset, angry, frustrated, annoyed, mad, distressed, overwhelmed, disappointed and heaven forbid… unhappy.

The power of the positive mind-set then kicks in and they soon start to find solutions, answers to the problem, and/or ways of dealing or coping with the situation.

You see, they still have ‘negative’ emotions; they just don’t set up camp with them. They let them have their moment, they scream, shout, cry or whatever they need to do at the time, then they look at what they can do to help the situation and they stay focused on the best possible outcome.

Most Positive Thinkers understand that they are going through whatever it is they are going through for a reason. (I have a candle in my house that states – I know everything happens for a reason, but what the actual ****!) it can get that way sometimes, even for a positive thinker J


On the other side of the coin, those that have to be ‘upbeat’ and ‘fun’ all the time can be mistaken for being positive people.

I used to work with a woman who would dance around the office and act silly to get laughs, yet every word she uttered was negative. If she wasn’t complaining, she was snappy or stressy with everyone.

Another person I knew was always life and soul of the party, but when you got to know her you could see that her self-esteem was so low she was afraid of letting anyone see the real her, she hated to be alone and by being the life and soul people seemed to like her, and she could surround herself with others and not have to be alone with her thoughts.

Both of these people were just putting on a happy face despite being desperately unhappy on the inside.

My point with these stories is that people who seem happy are not always positive thinkers and positive thinkers aren’t always happy.

When people put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay they are doing so much damage to themselves, they are suppressing their true emotions and that – unfortunately leads to depression, anxiety and even physical illness. It is not a good idea in any way, shape or form.

And I say this, not just because it’s what I believe, but because that’s what I know to be true for me too. I have been on both sides. I have been the one to ‘put on a happy face’ and live a life of pretense, if I’m honest I have spent most of my life doing that, and it’s not a place I ever wish to visit again.

Learning to train my mind to think positively was not an over night thing, it has taken time, and patience with myself. The benefits on the other hand have been exceptional. I have never felt so calm, I have never felt so relaxed, I have never felt so happy as I have since I began my Positive Thinking Journey.

I highly recommend it!

Positive thinking is changing the way you think about things, changing the way you look at things, changing the way you react to things, changing how you handle things, changing your outlook on life. It won’t stop the bad things from happening, but they will happen less and you will overcome them quicker, leaving time to enjoy life.

If you want some Ideas on how to become a positive thinker you could start by reading my book Positive Thinking For Beginners

Or you could try one of the books that got me started – I highly recommend Louise Hay’s – ‘You Can Heal Your Life’

Or check out some of my of my other Blogs including

Lisa Edwards meditating by the ocean with signature

Drop in to my Etsy store Positive Life by Design for great printables to help you on your journey.

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